In last week’s Modern Family episode, “Virgin Territory,” it was discovered that 17-year-old Haley, a high school senior, has been having sex with her boyfriend for a while. Her father struggles to cope with the revelation and react as a cool Dad should… even going so far as to utter the line to his sexually active daughter, “whatever seems right to you.”
The secular world is up in arms about this episode, pointing out that not all teens are having sex, nor are all teens ready to have sex, nor should they be! In a world of STDs, teen pregnancy and increasing depression – sex comes at a high price for teens. One commentator said, “I don’t believe that every high school senior is out there having sex, is ready to have sex or needs to feel that 17 or 18 is the appropriate age to have sex because he or she saw it on prime-time TV. Go ahead and flame me, all you parents who justify your lack of parenting with lame lines like “All the kids are doing it.” Here’s a news flash: They aren’t. And maybe yours wouldn’t be either if you had taught them about responsibility and consequences.”
As Christians, what are we saying on the subject of teen sex? Is it the same hands-off message of “just don’t” and “because the Bible says so,” or are we taking the time to sit down with our children, our friends children and their friends and have an honest conversation about God’s plan for sex? It is absolutely the parents responsibility to speak into their children about sex, but it is also the responsibility of the church. What are you doing to proclaim the truth about sexuality? What are the struggles in your church/Christian circles regarding teen sex? What has worked in talking to teens? What hasn’t?
I think we need to re-glamorize the notion of virginity, not in a self-righteous, condescending, legalistic way (just saying “don’t do this”), but showing it as a beautiful, wonderful and other-worldly gift in the same sense in which the movies glamorize that first kiss.
This episode was not troubling. Had this been the first time a message like this was televised, the reaction might be understandable. There are, however, a few observations to note. Firstly, the episode is nothing more than a social commentary on the reality that does exist. Secondly, nearly every teenager is experimenting with some sort of sexual behavior. It would be naive to believe otherwise. But, because I cannot speak for everyone, I’ll only point something out from a personal perspective. Between the year 2000 and now, nearly every teenager and young adult I have known, both Christian and non-Christian, has been involved in pre-marital sexual behavior. In fact, most will admit to it, and those who will not have been caught up in their lies. So while I cannot not necessarily put a percentage to it, I will be bold enough to estimate that at least 85% of unmarried young people are either having sex, experimenting with marital behaviors, groping, or watching pornography.
So convincingly, I believe this episode got it exactly right. Both the attitude of Haley and the reactions of her parents were typical and expected. Sadly, this is our generation and social networks like facebook and myspace are a convenient place to test the waters of sexual predatory behavior. Likewise, our schools are essentially whore-houses, and the media gives fanfare to progressive ideas concerning sexuality. Still, none of this should be a surprise to any of us. Long has it been the way of our world, and without redemption, this behavior will continue.
Wow, I have not seen this episode, but I certainly hope that life is not as you speak about it. I find it rather disturbing that you Nate, can say things like our schools are essentially whore houses. I hope and pray it is not. Are we as parents not just giving up then saying well this is how the world is. I think as the writer of this article, if I understood her correct, that it is our responsibility as parents to teach our children what is beautiful and holy and that there is a reason why God wants us to have marital sex and not the opposite, because then and only then is it holy and keeps us from unnecessary hurt and pain. It was never meant to be cheap. I would like to believe there still are those who would like to and are keeping themselves virgin’s and holy for the right person in marriage one day. Let us at least do our best to teach our children what the right thing to do is, and protect them from unnecessary heartache and pain.
Our schools really are essentially whore houses. There is not other way to plainly state it and it is naive to believe otherwise. Because it is true, we know how to appropriate our guidance to young people. Sure, we can go on believing the best in people, but there is no hope for change in that. Recognizing the problem begins with recognizing the fullness of what the sin is. If we choose to ignore the condition of the world, then how will we pray? How will we effectively minister?
If you’re willing to be a witness to what I have claimed, then go visit a high school and listen to what the students are talking about. Most high school students want sex. Furthermore, it is not “giving up” to agree with certain truths. In fact, it is our recognition of a problem that allows us to approach it in the first place. More than anything though, a little prevention will go a long way.
Our entire culture is degraded. Everywhere kids look they are bombarded with images of sex, violence and drugs. Cultural Marxism is the greatest experiment ever.